why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
