I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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