Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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