i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
where are you?
Hypothermia
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
