I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
