I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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