# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
