DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
