There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
