i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Is Oprah even human
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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