just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
