he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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