i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
