I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Holy shit dude........stairs
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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