I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
