3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
