I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
