***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
