So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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