you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
