i think my tv is drunk
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
