"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
