Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
