I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
