Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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