Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
