I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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