Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
