I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
