what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
