Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
