yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
