It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
