If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
