this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
BRING THE BAGELS
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
