nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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