They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
