he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
