I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Damn victory sex feels great
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
