3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
