super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
