i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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