I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
