it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
