she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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