you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
