just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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