So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
