false alarm. still invincible.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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