we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
