I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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